final project

          First off I have to say this bloody thing was damn hard I thought it would be easy but noooo it was a pain, Really made me think too. To help simplify all this for reading purposes I’m going to individually address the questions then mention the relation to the project tangible, the Photoshop collage.


          First question was who am I in the eyes/perception of others I really thought about this and I realized something I’m a different person in the eyes of some people vs what I am in the eyes of some other people basically to my family especially my father’s side I seem to be a freaking super genius that does nothing but program and crunch numbers they don’t seem to recognize my creative side at all. To me they don’t see me for who I am but to them this is who I am the kid they remember and not who I am now but to stop that before I answer the 7th question in the first XD. Too my friends however they see me for who I believe I am who am I you ask well here we go I am an elf obsessed perverted and creative wackjob who has I very nasty problem of going off on tangents and plays WAY too much video games XD and that was just a very small part of the complexity. Anyways this is what the friends seem to identify me as. Too show this in the tangible I set myself with small representations of my personality on either side of a black silhouette of me. This is two represent the two different identities that different people hold towards me.


          Question number two was how do I perceive myself well haven’t I already said that I do see myself as creative. I do see myself as slightly ok not slightly I’m just plain perverted. I do see myself as an elf obsseser. I do think I play a lot of video games, no believe too much though. I do see myself as a little random. And I do believe that I have a purpose what that is I don’t know yet but hell that’s the next question isn’t it.


           The dreaded question asked throughout time why am I here. Ok so this one turned my brain inside out smashed it a few times threw it into a blender spat in that blender lit it on fire then proceeded to stuff it I a rocket and blow it up. First I was going to simply say I don’t know then I slapped myself and really thought about this. Why am I here well I’m here for one because I was meant to be something. I also came to the conclusion that seeking the answer for this question for this from any book or any person was naive and foolish. I am here to be something to be something that I choose. I choose to be the creator of the 21st centuries myth to be the 21st centuries Tolken to have my stories to have my ideas become the bases for fantasies for the next 100 years I am here to leave my eternal mark on the culture of the united states the culture of the world the culture of whole human civilization! I am here to be a person who’s worlds and characters are remembered far past my mortal time. 200 years from now my name will be in the history books not as a nameless face that perished at the end of the oil age but as the man who took charge and created something that stood the test of time. So yes I don’t know is the crap answer the answer given by those who wish to fade into the annuls of history I chose to answer why am I here with the simple response I AM HERE TO LEAVE MY MARK ON CIVILIZATION! Weather for better or worse! the representation of this in the tangible is simple it IS the tangible I have taken my first steps into leaving my eternal mark.


             What are the implications of your identify on others? Another hard question, but the way I display my identity will judge how others especially those close to me will act towards how they will see me what they will ask of me. If I can’t convey what I believe is my identity to others in turn others will treat me in the way that I would despise. My identity controls every first time meeting it controls who will find me interesting. Who will be able to put up with me. My future spouse is even controlled by how I project my identity. To simplify the implications on others its everything its what tells people who I am and effects how they will respond too me. The shadowy eyes is this questions representation in the collage the other people judging and deciding who they should see me as.


            DAB NABIT all these freaking questions are intertwined so delicately psshht oh well. How do other peoples identity’s affect me. Well as I said earlier identity is what controls how I act towards others and vice versa so do other people's identity affect me most defiantly they do. IN general I consider the creative freethinking and illogical identity to be the true me but when around my father and stepmother the old me comes out the math genius I don’t know why either. I don’t know if its just the sternness of my father his traditional way of life or what. The stern traditional man is the identity I see my father as this is somehow forcing me to fall into my old identity but some part of me just wants to reveal who I really am and I just can’t is it fear of him disowning me is it fear of breaking him to pieces I’m not one hundred percent sure. I can say this though I believe, again not 100% sure never can be, that I fall into my old identity because I don’t believe he is ready to see the true me. I know someday that my true self will come out when around him I can feel my true self knocking at the door with an axe when I am around both my father and my brothers or friends. My friends know who I am and I just want to be able to act as if only they were there but that stern identity of my father overlooks and barricades the door. one day I swear he will see me for who I am. The people faded into the center of the mirror represent this question all of the people could possibly be my identity but also they could be the identity of others pulling at me like the earth pulls the moon.


             Well final question eh and holy crap If you read everything Ive been talking about this one has already been answered no identity is NOT static it changes weather we have our eyes opened to our true self or the strong identity of those close to us forces a false or past identity to emerge identity is never static. It is like the oceans always present but ever-changing with the power to clam us or the power to destroy us. Identity is eternally a part of us no matter how hard we try to be static and live a life in which we never change something will always be there to break the stillness.

       and here it is the omg no matter what i do i still think my crap looks like crap crap that all this serious made me cry ,yes one of these questions had me in tears to the point were i had to simply walk away form the computer, project.

what the bleep and whole bloody class reflection dohicky

Ok here we go on the massive reflection of the semester/movie we watched reflection. First off as I was watching the movie I began to think about my final project mainly on the how we can change over time due to emotions part. If emotions have such an effect on people is my identity my personality or just the mood I am in at the time. Is the way I feel about my identity weather good or bad going to make people shitty. Well hers what I believe on that the answer is sometimes are my emotions so powerful that the people who have known me for years are all of the sudden going to hate me when I am in a bad mood uh no. If this was the case nobody would really ever be able to have friends thus in most situations your identity stays separate from your emotions. On the other hand this is where the sometimes comes in if you’ve never met a person before and you’re in that same crap mood the identify/personality the other person identifies with you will be severely skewed. This of course works both ways so lesson of this small part don’t be in a bad mood on first meetings. There in one thing I’ve gotten out of this course that I didn’t except to get. What is that well the course is has taught me to stop trying to hide behind a mask and just be me. Quit trying to be a perfect student that never goes outside the box if someone doesn’t like them well screw them I am me you don’t like then tough this is what you get. Of course I am random so this isn’t in the order that questions were asked but one thing I really super disagreed with the movies on is the idea that a human can will something into being. First off do I believe in magic yes do I believe that humans are gods capable of willing a fancy car into being just because they willed it HELL NO. we are not gods we can never be gods we can finally gain access to stuff that would be considered magic or sorcery but we’ll never be a god. A god can create a soul even with the most advanced technology and perfect understanding of quantum physics we will NEVER be able to comprehend what the soul is. The soul is beyond the realms of reality and perception and thus we will never be able to fully understand it. Thus we cannot be gods. How will this movie impact me in the future well one I will be more aware of my emotions in general I didn’t know that they would have such a powerful affect and professionally well I want to create worlds now I can create them with the knowledge that its possible they may exist. This means all my dreams and fantasies could become true threes nothing to say everything that lies in the realm of the never there can’t really exist! Another thing the movie mentioned was nothing ever touches anything, first off that’s not true nuclear fission and fusion they touch for sure,  but that means that pain is an illusion and the sense of touch is an illusion.  I was trying to figure out how it works in my head until my right brain came and slapped my left and said quit trying to figure out why things can fit logically and go with it. This movie believe or not brought up a huge thing that I’ve always fought and that’s letting my creative side work without being constantly interrupted by my logical side this movies basically said reality is perception so does logic exist this little fact will allow me to better fight off my logical inquires on everything and just go say it is what it is who gives an f weather or not it logically makes any sense. This movie and final project setn me into full soul search wtf mode I had no idea at first what I was answering or what the hell I was doing in general this class in general made me really look at the world and my self. I had to break out of what I would normally do and think actually think what  a concept I know I’m capable of thinking I just never really did it. I’ve spent years and years in my bubble and finally I was able to break the damn invincible thing and start thinking deeper. This deeper thought you could say really is what helped my critical thinking, and now that I no longer feel the need to be logical all the time or fit in and do what other wish to see I can finally find the creative approach to something. Hell I guess that was the improvement in my creative exploration or as Beth says exloration  lol typos. All hail the elves, yes that was a random phrase to see if you actually read these things >.>

whats going to happen i hope

I think the reaction to this fear project (don't want to give details) will be that everyone will be on edge if not scared. If not those at least they will have a since of what people went through in the past.

The experiment
Simple Really put everyone in complete darkness (primal night) run some primal sounds begin to give speech on how humans have developed technologically to push back our innate fear of the dark. i'll slowly bring in light and examine the crowds reactions. this is how it was supposed to work in theory anyways in all reality the thing completly fell apart. first off couldn't seem to completly get it dark. This led to a constant laughter which isn't what i was going for. A few people where on edge but not the entirty of the class.

how to fix or improve
This is simple really
step1
Get it Truly completely dark
step II
have my equipment setup externally so i can see
stepIII
have a much better audio system to project sounds
step IV
have a simulated fire and a real lamp to better show progression

The project that impacted me the most was the one involving the person (yes I'm that bad with names) who described his life story on how he used to do drugs and cut himself. why do i find this most Memorable simple he really put me in a very crappy mood and got the most powerful emotional response from anybody. How did it make me feel on my project mine failed no response his succeed uber response.

creating happy bliss meh to many words

hmm... a time in my life i was really happy when i created something. well there was that very large 747 model i absolutely was happy when i finished that thing.

from young to old REAL OLD

what would I do with a paperclip when I'm 55 well simple i would be a cheap bastard and use it as a fuse. Yes a fuse not a paperclip. If i was 55 and no thinking creatively still I would hate my self so hears to short blogs and oh yeah cheap ways to fix ur carz.

back 16 years ago there were paper clips

OK so 5 year old mentality paper clip project spent 2-3 days thinking and thinking and thinking hitting nothing but brick walls and some concrete ones. then about halfway through the week I realized wait 5 year olds don't think for days they just wing it. so I winged it like I would of when I was 5 and came up with a well paper clip shrapnel device no explosives and it doesn't harm anything. its uber hard to explain in writing sooooo.... you the demonstration is where its at for this one. Don't worry this is an old honey free project.

The true warrior needs not his sight

Yep this is the assignment in which we ignore sight. for this one i was going to do some hey read this poem by touching and feeling the Morse code... then I realized something most people don't know how to read Morse code. So I was freaking out going oh crap what to do. then when at work I reached underneath a car seat and felt something sticky and went SOB WTF ><!!!!! then it hit me or stuck. I decided to gather a bunch of different things to touch blindfolded and then ask the victim... I mean volunteer what did that make you feel.